The Companion Called Experience
by Ida Lawrence
A few months ago I started to write an article on the
archetypical ‘wise woman’… the grandmother, the crone or the elder woman. I
searched online for some information about the attributes of this archetype in
different cultures, and found that quite a number of people have been giving
thought to this. The subject is not new to me, but getting more deeply into it
has always been unappealing due to a few factors.
One is, of course, the ugliness woven through the western
archetypes… I mean… who wants to line themselves up with a crone or a hag or a
witch? Another is my own resistance to the ‘I’m a goddess’ thinking: of course
you are but then again we all have the divine spark… so no ego elevation there.
I’m imagining that the divine feminine includes all archetypes in some
proportion – the youthful, maternal and elder feminine energies – and perhaps
we all contain some of each, so I’ll go with that.
I realize that it’s likely due to yang dominance and
religious conditioning that some cultures were unable to see what the appeal
might be in the woman who is past childbearing age. Older, nature-oriented
cultures seemed to take the opposite track; granting reverence to the
grandmothers and giving them the final word in all major decisions. So the
cultural archetypes are something to look at. What did nature-oriented peoples
know that the yang mind couldn’t see?
I have asked myself some questions about what today’s
grandmother would be up to, and what her natural maternal and warrior
attributes would look like when they reach beyond youth and the immediate
family and community.
Well… from my own experience I can say that one thing
grandmothers do is they watch. They watch how things begin and how they grow,
what influences the direction of the growth, what emerges from the
‘differences’ mix, what gets in the way of the flow, which inner shadows breed
conflict, how women resolve conflict and how men do, and what can erode the
dignity of our journey.
To my mind, our calling is sacred in a sense, in that we
look to love that is non-judgmental and for all, including ourselves… and the
grace that is pure information. Home can be felt in the heart/mind… ‘direct me
there’ is our prayer to self and the universe.
A lot can be learned by listening and observing over time,
and it’s not necessarily an ‘only women do it’ thing… both men and women enjoy
the feminine polarity.
So here I am back to thinking about the subject again, not
to look at what’s missing in the archetypes or to offer any upgrades to
them,
but just to build a structure around the concept of spiritual growth reaching a
level of focused maturity. Grandmother would encourage maturity, because within
that comes staying power, integrity, respect, and appreciation for the light in
every individual.
A friend and male elder recently reflected on this subject,
saying, “Perhaps the greatest battle the spiritual warrior fights is the one
within; coming to terms with the duality and dichotomy of existence itself.”
Yes that is the inner work, which, over time, tends to become the companion
called ‘experience’.
Experience does lead to wisdom within an individual who has
paid attention over time, and sought to know themselves by exploring inner and
outer. Like you, my battle has been to
grow up while I’m here… growing past ignorance, compliance, control, egoism,
opinion, reaction, i.e. what I am conditioned to be… and into ‘I Am’. Add to
that ever-present work the enjoyment of friendships, love, laughter, good food,
beautiful sunsets… and we have a life!
Getting back to it… what’s really on the minds of women of
my age? I’m thinking of an image that relates to a great liberation. That
image, to me, reveals our current condition, and the way forward. It is a
feeling that can be evoked by the song, Follow the Drinking Gourd. Some say
that song mapped the path for escaping slaves as they entered the trek from the
Southern US to Canada. Whatever its origin, it pointed to the unmoving north
star –follow that star, it said, and look for this landmark or that. And, trust
that help is waiting along the journey.
There are a lot of grandmothers with me in this awakening
and renewal. As I watch us, I see continuity – on our minds is the movement of
the greater human family toward liberation. We have already raised our own
children, and learned a great deal in doing so. Now we are concerned about all…
all who are cherishing us, all who are evolving with us, all who will be
continuing the flow after we are
gone. How can we be an inspiration and a help
to the warriors in their journey.
We wish to be the constant friend, pointing
toward that
fixed star. It may not be visible on a cloudy night, or during a raging storm,
but it is there, always, we can trust it and visualize
The raging storm: we all have noticed the cries that ‘the world has gone horribly wrong’. They are deafening right now. And yet, we know that this is not a world gone wrong… it is a world experiencing a massive evolution/devolution. This insanity was anticipated and is to be expected. We were born into it with some pre-knowledge, and we have within us the intention to grow and serve through this time. Of course the dogs have been let loose and the slave-catchers are angry. So the fear that comes up now and then is normal… but it’s not helpful.
At risk of being called a crone or a hag… could Grandmother
get a word in?
We are so different, but we journey as brothers and sisters
playing a role in the greatest of dramas… evolve and resolve to escape… or…
stay where you are for a while longer – no judgment. And it’s okay to talk to
the ‘escaping ones’ about what is helpful. Just a little introspection, if
needed, can move aside some clouds.
Helpful #1: To outgrow gossip, and egotistical competition,
and impotent anger toward the controlling powers. These things only feed the
storm.
The escaping slaves, following the unmoving North Star,
selflessly lifted each other up. They had to, they wanted to, it was natural –
and most importantly, the experience itself demanded it. So with that said…
Helpful #2: The only reason I’m here talking with you is
because of the boost-ups that I’ve been given. I’ve experienced selfless
cooperation time and time again. It’s a testament to the liberation aspect of
our journey and a wonderful counter-force to the fears, obstacles and
diversions that can cloud our way.
May we weather all assaults with grace and trust born in the
knowledge that we are in the right place, there is help, and there are many
ahead of us on the journey passing along clues about what to watch for in the
landscape. All is as it should be.
One-on-one mentoring can be an excellent choice on this
journey… experienced guidance on the landscape is what we require sometimes. I
can wholeheartedly recommend Soren Dreier as a mentor. I encourage you to check
out what he offers, and if you find it appealing and doable, go for it.
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