Waking Up from Religion

Waking Up from Religion

By Nanice Ellis

Often our religious beliefs are handed down to us by family and culture, and by the time we are old enough to consciously choose, it’s too late because we are already brainwashed with pre-ordained beliefs that seem to be set in stone.

Ideally, the true purpose of any religion should be to facilitate a direct connection with the “Divine,” and to support spiritual awakening. Unfortunately, few, if any religions, fulfill this purpose. If they did, many more of us would be awake by now, or at least intimately connected to the Source of who we really are. Even with the prevalence of “new age” spiritual practices today, few of us have attained full spiritual awakening and direct Divine connection. What’s wrong with this picture? Maybe that answer lies in the reasons why humanity seeks out religion, or structured spirituality, in the first place…Seeking the answers to the unknown can be a scary business – where do we come from, why are we here, and especially, where do we go after departing? The further we travel down the “rabbit hole” in our quest for spiritual truth, the more lonely, confusing and frightening it can become. Religion preys on this fear and confusion; by providing premade answers designed to give us a false sense of security, it offers a reprieve from that inner quest, but in exchange for that spiritual crutch, we must give up spiritual sovereignty and the freedom to choose our own beliefs. We must give up the very thing it saves us from – finding our true selves.

In many ways, my spiritually convoluted childhood was a gift in disguise. Although my mother was raised strict Roman Catholic and my father was raised strictly Jewish, I was baptized Christian, and when it was time to send me to school, I was sent to a very Catholic school run by tyrant nuns. Neither my mom, nor my dad, considered that they were sending me to a Catholic school, where I would stand out like a sore thumb — with a very Jewish last name and a nose to match. I was treated differently by the nuns than the other kids but I was too young to understand why, and by the end of first grade, even the other kids formed an alliance against me. This overt judgment from nuns and peers went on for years, and as result, I did poorly in school, I had no friends, and I believed that there was something very wrong with me. In fifth grade, the ongoing emotional stress caused me to have a nervous breakdown and, as a result, my parents enrolled me in public school, and also allowed me to figure out this “religion thing” on my own. By the time I was twelve, my immense search for truth was underway.

Up until that time, I had been taught that God was to be feared, and if you sin or break any commandments, you would be punished, and maybe even sent to a fiery hell to repent eternally. It was quite convincing, but something inside me said, it just wasn’t true. My long and relentless search for spiritual truth delivered me to a sacred space that was, not surprisingly, void of all religion and the imprisoning dogma that keeps one from discovering the truth for oneself. Why is it that religions often keep us from the very thing they should be doing? Instead of empowering us to a full connection with the Divine and supporting us to Wake Up and remember who we really are, they keep us asleep, buried under piles of disempowering beliefs that they programmed into our vulnerable minds. If we are fighting to prove that we are worthy of God’s love or we must depend on a “go-between” (priest, rabbi, guru etc…) in order to communicate with God, how can we ever attain a deep spiritual connection with the Divine?

Programming Religion

Most religions operate through mechanisms of control, but often the dynamic of control is so covert that you cannot recognize it, and if you cannot recognize it, you might easily fall for the religion’s sales pitch. Or if you are a long time follower, leaving the religion can be like extracting yourself from emotional quicksand. Most religions, and even some spiritual practices, keep people asleep through a program of shame and secrecy. The program includes an ingenious control formula, based on disempowering beliefs, such as unworthiness, powerlessness, judgment and exclusion, all resulting in painful and debilitating emotions that can last a life time.

Installing Beliefs

Most religions install beliefs about “right and wrong,” “good and bad” and “sinful and saintly,” causing followers to believe that their well-being or salvation is dependent on their behavior, and if they disobey, they are judged and punished with the equivalent of karma or an eternal afterlife of unwanted proportions, but that is not even the worst part! The defiance of your religious beliefs automatically invokes feelings of shame, guilt, obligation or regret. These feelings, or the fear of these feelings, can be a more powerful deterrent than even the threat of physical torture. The deepest part of the control mechanism is through manipulating emotions, so that you actually punish yourself.

For example, if your religion says that it is wrong to have sex outside of marriage, and you have pre-marital sex, you will automatically punish yourself through feelings of deep shame, guilt, regret and unworthiness. In fact, if you even think about going against the religious doctrine, these powerful emotions will induce feelings of impending regret, and make you think twice. The same goes for things like regular “attendance”, tithing/donations and any other conditions or requirements of your religion. Your fear of feeling guilt or regret controls your behavior and makes you do things that maybe aren’t right for you, or maybe keeps you from expressing your real self. The thing is, if you are emotionally manipulated, how can you even know what is best for you? Only through free-will can you ever be inspired by your own inner being. Because the control is coming from inside you, in the form of your own beliefs and emotions, you probably don’t even realize that you are being controlled, which is what makes this type of control even more diabolical than if someone threatened you with a knife. When you can identify an external control source, it is clear that you are being controlled, but when you have been willingly programmed with beliefs, and these beliefs are causing painful emotions, it is almost impossible to discern that an external source is in control of your life.

Taking Advantage of the Young and Vulnerable

Most people are programmed with religious beliefs either when they are too young to question those beliefs or at a very vulnerable time in their lives. For example, people seek spiritual answers when they are experiencing emotional pain or confusion. Religions feed off this, and even take advantage of this vulnerability, seducing seekers with the promise of security and comfort, for this life and maybe even the afterlife.

Sacrificing Power in Exchange for Salvation

Most religions ask that you give away your power, and that you trust the religion and its leaders more than you trust yourself. You are taught that in order to connect with the Divine, you must depend on non-physical deities, or religious leaders. If you want a prayer answered or you seek forgiveness, you must use a “go-between” because you are not worthy, or pure enough, for direct communion with the Divine. Worst of all, the message is, “Don’t trust yourself,” and, as long as you don’t trust yourself, you remain powerless to external authority.

Ruled by Conditional Worth

In most religions, there is an unspoken decree of worthiness that all practitioners agree to. Your worth is dependent on how well you follow the rules of your religion – if you do as you are told, according to your religion, or your religious leader, you are deemed worthy, and if you go against, or question the rules or beliefs, you are deemed unworthy. Unworthiness induces deep feelings of shame which leads to secrecy.

Use of Judgment

The fear of being judged, shamed or the subject of gossip is commonly used to keep followers in line, creating secrecy and keeping followers from sharing their “indiscretions” with each other. Because judgment feels like death to the ego, we will do almost anything in order to avoid being judged. As a result, everyone pretends to be a good follower, while secretly hiding any “bad behavior,” and, because no one is sharing openly, it appears that everyone else is saintly, making it impossible for you to speak your truth.

No Room for Doubt or Questions

If you believe that your fellow practitioners will ostracize you, or report you to religious leaders, you will not likely share any feelings of doubt about the religion or its leaders – you will silently keep your questions or uncertainty to yourself, never knowing that your friend, neighbor or family member feels the same way. Judgment, and fear of being judged, supports division. As the saying goes, “Divide and conquer,” and, at all costs, keep those already conquered from coming together in rebellion. Silence and separation allow religious agendas to operate unnoticed.

Exclude Non-Believers

What about the threat of non-believers that are not part of the religion? Often, followers are well-trained in converting non-believers, with programmed answers for any, and all, objections that might come from the one they are trying to convert. Followers are often taught how to prey upon vulnerabilities, with promises of salvation, but, if that doesn’t work, the non-believer is viewed negatively, cast aside as ignorant and excluded. This type of righteousness, where the believer is right and the non-believer is wrong, is just another form of judgment and exclusion in the name of God. The motto often is: “Either believe and join us or be excluded and judged as sinner.” I am not saying that you should leave your religion, or even think about it – that is not the point. The point is, if you want to awaken to the truth of who you really are, you must free yourself from disempowerment. This means taking back your power from everyone and everything – including religion. It might seem easy to blame a religion for keeping you powerless, asleep, or disconnected but religions only exist because we seek answers outside of ourselves. From the deepest perspective, religions are set up to fail you, so that eventually, you will look in the only place where you can ever find the answers you seek. Deep inside.

Religion says, “You are unworthy unless you meet certain conditions.”

Awakening reveals, “You are unconditionally worthy.”

Religion says, “You are powerless to external sources.”

Awakening reveals, “Your power is accessed as you take responsibility for your life.”

Religion separates, judges and excludes.

Awakening and Oneness are synonymous.

In awakening, you remember that who you really are is the Divine, and if you judge yourself, or others, you are really judging God.

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